The View from the Hermitage, Day 44

I've read multiple articles on kids and parents being home together all day, meshing adult work with kid school at home. The one I read last night on the CNN website, "Why some kids are happier right now, and other unexpected effects of quarantine," really hit home. After finishing it, I turned to the husband and told him I wasn't such a bad parent after all, not that I really ever thought I was.

So what's changed for kids? Forget for a moment the whole "school's out for summer" aspect of right now. There's no school, but there's also no soccer, dance or music lessons, gymnastics; in fact, there are no out-of-school activities at all to which kids have to be rushed from school to activity to home. Kids have extended down time, in some cases for the first time ever. In the case of the sons, they did several after-school activities, always of their own choosing, and typically only one at a time. In other words, no planner was needed to get from one day to the next.

One mother noted, "Now we have a chance to get stupid and take a break together." Kids can experiment and try new things, things they come up with on their own. They learn they can do things they thought that or had been told that they could not.The article notes, "Sheltering in place has lowered the stakes and expectations of everyday life, and it's giving kids a chance to take more chances." Did the sons ever get stupid together and/or take chances? Do not get me started on the stories of riding a couch down the stairs, hiding each other's doors, making armor from AOL CDs and asking the other brother to "Hit me." I thought letting them play on their own was easier than coming up with activities for them. As long as no one got hurt, things were cool.

Before anyone asks, no, the sons did not always get along. They played together better some days than others, and it wasn't until high school that each realized what kindred spirits they and the other brother were. Sometime after that, they became best friends. They continue to be very close though they have grown into different adults (they're in their early 30s now). They had a good foundation on which to build, and the things described above were a big part of that foundation.

The coronavirus pandemic is not a good thing, far from it. At the same time, it offers some bright spots tiny though they may be. People helping each other, some they know and some they don't. People singing or clapping appreciation sometimes from above. It's humbled many of us, showing us just how much we take for granted and giving us the chance to do bette as we go forward. And it has in many, many cases, let kids be kids, and that is a very,very good thing.