A Day Late and a Dollar Short?

I somehow got in the habit of posting my New Years resolutions here, thinking perhaps that it would give me more incentive to keep them. I do a half-year report on my birthday, which just happens to be six months opposite New Years Day.

I was not at all sad to see 2019 end. While the start of the year was particularly bright with fireworks in Tromso, Norway on New Years Eve, I'd just as soon forget May through August and am still struggling to stay on something resembling an even keel. I did manage to be successful on my 2019 resolutions to finish crafty-artsy projects and to earn the monetary award in my employer's annual wellness challenge. Get into good shape? I'm not sure I'm in any better shape than I was a year ago, but I am in no way in worse shape. I'm not sure I ever figured out how to slow myself down, though a month of pneumonia definitely helped. Finally, wasting less time evaporated after May. I know that my depression is drifting downward by how much time I can waste, usually on social media or computer games. While it is not one of my 2020 resolutions, I am going to continue the fight on this one.

So, just what have I resolved to do or not do in 2020? I started from the idea of centering myself, both physically and emotionally. I was doodling geometrically (think grid paper) and came up with a design that pleased me (photo below). Since that design lent itself to four things each containing two things, that's what I worked toward. The four ended up being Health and Fitness, Carbon Footprint, Emotional, and General. You can probably tell which one was added because I couldn't come up with another specific category.

I did not want to put "get in shape" or "lose weight" or anything like those under Health and Fitness. I've failed at those in too many years. I've been saying lately that I should drink more water, so that's what I'm resolving to do. Younger son has been a lacto-ovo vegetarian since Grade 5, and I've been thinking about this having read too many articles lately on the awareness or intelligence of certain animals. I thought about resolving to only eating meat only when eating away from home, but to be honest, that seemed as if it would be difficult on a daily basis. I fell back on resolving simply to eat less meat.

Carbon Footprint made the list because it's something I've been thinking and worrying about. Do not get me started on what the current administration is or is not doing. I've been carrying metal straws with me for over a year, and do not use any straws brought wrapped in paper or plastic. If I need a straw, I use one of my metal ones. There are plenty of times, though, when the drink I ordered is brought with a straw already in the glass. I will do my best in 2020 to ask servers to hold the straws. While many locations have banned single-use plastic such as shopping bags, where I live has not. I pretty much always remember to take my own bag(s) into grocery stores, but need to remember not to enter another type of store without a bag. I hope it helps to resolve to use as few single-use plastic items as possible.

I had to put Emotional as a category because that's where I've really been struggling. Something that is not at all important in the course of my life happens, and if I am alone in the house or car, I yell my response which typically is less than polite. I over-react and/or react too quickly. And, yes, the over-reaction often removes the possibility of dealing with the matter appropriately. I'm calling this resolution mind before mouth, and really hope it works even a little. Of course, the shouting mentioned just now disturbs the natural silence of the day, so my second emotional resolution is to seek serenity in silence. I need to calm myself and enjoy the sound of nothing happening.

Finally, there is the General category where I somewhat extended two of last year's resolutions. First, I want to work at remembering that slow is smooth. Most of life can happen without split-second responses being needed. This obviously relates using my mind before I open my mouth. Finally, to take the advice of Neil Gaiman, I would like to make good art. I would like to extend what I now do comfortably and risk that someone's reaction to what I make might not be positive. One can learn a lot from failure, whether that failure be real or perceived.

It's now January 2, meaning it's time to get working on these. I wish I could promise that my next blog post will not be the one in six months in which I discuss how well I might or might not be doing with or learning from these goals. After all, quality aside, writing is definitely making art.