What Goes Around

I don't like being in crowds; I never have. And if the crowd starts moving, making me move with it, I pretty much suffer a panic attack. That's why I deliberately avoid situations in which that might happen. If I have to be in a moving crowd, leaving a sporting event for example, I stay as close as possible to the person I'm with, usually the husband.

But by deliberately avoiding large crowds, I often find myself not going to events I'd like to, or that I think I ought to. An example is the Women's March the day after the 2017 Presidential inauguration. I really wanted to be there. I really did. At the same time, I found the thought of the crown absolutely terrifying. Even the crowds at the local event seemed daunting. I asked two dear friends who were going to the event in D.C., one from here and one from afar, to represent me, to be there in spirit for me. Knowing how I feel about crowds, they both agreed.

This past weekend saw Families Belong Together rallies held nationwide in protest of the current administration's program of separating immigrant children and parents. While I did not even consider trying to get to the national rally in Washington, D.C., I hoped that the local rally might be manageable in size, and decided to give it a try. What I posted on my Facebook page pretty well describes my motivation.

Going to the Families Belong Together rally today. I normally avoid crowds, but we no longer live in normal times.

The same friends who represented me at last year's Women's March offered support and guidance. Stay to the sides of the crowd. Feel free to step back out of the crowd. Stay close to the husband. And my local friend asked for a ride to the rally, giving me a second person to whom I could turn.

I wanted to make some sort of poster to take along, but not enough to make a special trip into town when I discovered the sheets of foam board I thought were in my studio closet weren't actually there. It was evening by then, and the rally announcement had said there would be poster-making supplies on site. My friend, on the other hand, was prepared and had a great sign.

We lessened the distance we had to walk by using my temporary disability parking tag. As we walked toward the rally, both the husband and friend noted that there were places I could sit so as not to overdo my still-healing knee (that weekend, the knee replacement was 10 weeks old). Next time, I'll listen to them and/or bring my own chair. My knee was extra-swollen and awkward for the rest of the day.

We ended up, not intentionally, at the front of the small area in which the speakers made their remarks. If you know me and if the video link works, you can see me here at the beginning and end of the report. The end is a longer shot than the beginning. If you don't know the husband, he's the gentleman to my right. He is also the gentleman shown "up front" in the photo at the start of this post.

The crowd was not at all bad; I had nothing resembling a panic attack. I didn't experience any real anxiety, though by the end I knew I had overdone it as far as my new knee was concerned. It was a good event; I am extremely glad that I decided to give it a go.

The rally was this past Saturday. Yesterday, I went to one of the quilting chapters to which I belong and at which I am one of the younger members. Not more than a couple minutes after I got there, one of the older members (I'm guessing she's in her late 70's) said she had to talk to me and took me aside, away from the tables at which people were sitting. I, of course, started thinking, "Oh crap, what did I do wrong now?" The woman, wife of a retired minister, said she had seen me at the rally not in person but on one of the local news broadcasts. She thanked me for having gone, saying she had wanted to go but knew that she would not be able to manage it physically. She was glad I had been there in spirit for her.

So I was represented in spirit at one rally then, later, did my own representing in spirit at another. What goes around comes around, and this time that's a very good thing.