Another Year Down

I can't believe I went a year and a day without writing anything here. Actually, I can believe it. There are a lot of things I didn't do in the last year that I wish had been possible. I'm not going to start a list, because the list would be too long and it would depress me even more than long COVID alone does. 

I didn't make any resolutions for 2024, so there's no progress for me to check in on. Most days I float through somehow, accomplishing nothing. While I am no longer taking non-trivial morning and afternoon naps, I still need at least one or I am essentially useless the next day. I read the paper on and off. Look at social media. Occasionally write emails. Lately, I've actually been able to read for more than 15 minutes before I can no longer focus, so I've actually finished some books. I did start taking walks again, under the guidance of a physical medicine and rehabilitation doctor. That more than anything else has helped lift the major depressive disorder I was feeling. The doc also had me going to physical therapy. One's balance takes a hit after sitting or lying down for a whole year. 

Between the walking and the physical therapy, the slight lower back ache I had had on and off turned all the way on. Some days I had trouble walking without pain. The physical therapist thought it might be due to the scoliosis she said I had. The doctor thought that if I got my hips stronger, that would take care of the pain. After he had me lie on my back and be unable to lift my left leg due to pain, he sent me for x-rays. The good news is that they showed what the cause of the back pain is. The bad news is that it's not clear what can be done about it, though more information coming out of an MRI on July 19 should shed more light on that. 

It's called anterolisthesis. My L4 vertebra is sliding forward on my L5 vertebra. The sliding is somewhere between 25 and 50 percent, meaning it's Level 2. Level 1 is better; Level 4 is not. This may be something my mother had. At one point, she had a rod put in her back to hold her back straight. That's one of the last-resort treatments for anterolisthesis that I refuse to think about until after then MRI results are in and explained to me. 

So, this has been an enlightening post, hasn't it? Let me finish with the horoscope from The Washington Post that tells of the year ahead for someone born on July 1.

You are adventurous, imaginative and impulsive. You have an excellent memory. This is a year of learning and teaching. You might take time to renew your spiritual or religious beliefs. Explore philosophies that will give you a better self-awareness and understanding of the true meaning of your life.

 I'm not at all sure how to interpret all that. I do not, for example, feel very adventurous, imaginative, or impulsive. I'm too tired for any of that. And what is the true meaning of my life? A friend told me I did not seem upset enough about the anterolisthesis on top of the long COVID. Without really thinking, I told her I had both so other people did not to have either. The fates could have given two people one thing each. By giving me two, at least one other person has stayed healthy. Gotta laugh because the alternative doesn't accomplish anything. 

I'll try to get back here before another year passes, not that anyone has asked where I was this year. And for what it's worth, I'm now 68. Sixty-seven could have been worse, but at least it was a prime number.I don't have another prime age until 71.

Halfway to 2024 Already

I should wait until Saturday to post this because then I could comment on its being six months between posts. Normally, I use my birthday post to report on how I'm doing with the resolutions I made six months ago. That's easy this year since I never made any. The Christmas cards never got mailed either. It's been a rough seven months. I'll still post whatever horoscope has a special forecast for people born on July 1.

Long COVID continues. My condition has improved somewhat from six months ago if only napping once daily rather than twice is a sign of improvement. While it is nice to be able to do something--anything--in the mornings, I have on more than one occasion done enough that I feel it the next day. Today is one of those days. I am trying to get the binding done on what is now a quilt I should have given to the intended recipient 26 years ago. Without the long COVID, it would have been finished and presented in January. Now, I hope to present it in July if I don't overdo it as I did yesterday.

Apart from the last six months, the last two have been compounded by the death of my mother in early May. I thank the deities that I saw her the day before she passed and that it was one of our better get-togethers. As I walked out the door, we were both laughing. Last year, my brother came to visit for Mother's Day; this year, that would have been too late. He went home two weeks before Mom died. I wonder if that helped her release herself from her body in this life. I remain convinced that she knew she was going to pass. At our last meeting, she asked me what I might want of the various things she had hanging on the walls. She said that one thing, something I did not want, really appealed to one of the aides, and she wanted that aide to have it. The aides told me that the day before she passed she'd been in a particularly jovial mood; the next day, they said, she had left that mood behind and asked to be helped into bed at lunchtime. On every other day, she only got into bed when it was time to sleep. I made sure that each got what she wanted.

Mom did not want a memorial service or funeral, nor did she want an obituary. I honored her wishes on the former, but did write a short obituary. I also let faraway friends know of her death. Many days in the past two months, the activity du jour has been dealing with some aspect of her estate. Her estate was larger than anticipated, and I need to go through the probate process. Advice to anyone thinking of their demise: Make your bank accounts "payable upon death" to your beneficiary(ies). If Mom had done that, there would have been no need for probate.

Because Mom's estate was larger than anticipated, we have been able to make some gifts to the kids. I'm also going to upgrade my plus-25-years-old sewing machine. Then I think I'll let things sit for a while while I regroup and try to recover as much as I might be able to. I just started reading The Long COVID Survival Guide: How to Take Care of Yourself and What Comes Next--Stories and Advice from Twenty Long-Haulers and Experts. I don't know that it will make anything better, but it will help remind me that I am not alone in this and that in comparison to many, many other people, my case is a mild one. Even so, writing this after doing some work on the quilt guild's website has left me somewhat drained and thinking of a morning nap.

The Road into 2023

Fortunately, I stopped the daily pandemic blog when I did. Remember the couple of times I said I was afraid of long COVID were I to get COVID? That apparently happened. Fatigue just kept growing. The first thing I noticed was that going up stairs was noticeably harder. I then realized that I was only making it through each day by ingesting over a gram of caffeine between coffee and caffeinated gum. Besides telling me to cut down on caffeine, my doctor ordered several types of blood work. When all the various tests came back normal, the diagnosis by exclusion pointed to long COVID. Doctor's orders were to stop doing all the things I'd been doing even if they had seemed fairly easy. This may be the year of no Christmas cards. This may also be the year of no resolutions, at least for now. I don't think "get my energy back" counts as a resolution, but that would be the big thing I'd be hoping for for 2023. 

Happy New Year to all, and to all however late a night you want. Mine will be an early one. 

The Road goes ever on and on ... Day 500 (1,000)

So here we are at Day 1,000. So much has changed, and so much hasn't. China continues to relax restrictions while still saying that zero-COVID remains in place. That may be true, but then why are there calls for the "full mobilization" of hospitals to ensure "combat effectiveness." Cities are said to be "accelerating the upgrading" of hospitals for "critically ill patients." For those critically ill people, there are fewer than one ICU beds for every 10,000 people. Local officials have been told to keep track of the health of everyone ages 65 and older. A virus testing center in Beijing shut down because all the employees were infected. Social media advised citizens to "please be patient." The official case count of 363,072 is up almost 50 percent from October 1. Zero-COVID, this is not.

Many people around here agree with POTUS's statement that the pandemic is over. The Professor and I treated ourselves to our favorite coffee shop this morning (it is a small local business, not Starbucks). The sign on the door saying that masks were no longer required but they appreciated patrons who wore them was gone. There were not many people there, but we were the only ones with masks. There were one or two other people wearing masks at the grocery store, but none of the staff wore them. As with the coffee shop, there was no signage about masks.

And I sit here on the Thousandth Day just up from the afternoon nap I have never before been able to take as a healthy adult. Naps are for sick people, and it appears I am one. I had a couple episodes of brain fog yesterday. I'm starting to wonder about things I may have done. I remember putting something in one place but it's no longer there. When I do find it, I have no memory of putting it where I found it. I worry about me. The pandemic is not over here.

Actively searching for and reading whatever news I could find each and every day did influence the way I looked at things. For one, it made me paranoid about being exposed and getting sick. I learned to accept that not everyone thought this way. When in-person instruction re-opened at The Local University, I accepted that there would come a time at which masks were no longer required. When The Professor put his mask aside and ended up with COVID, I, too, caught it. I had drawn the line at wearing a mask at home with The Professor and Son #1, who visited daily to run and get a dose of dog. I did not nag The Professor about wearing a mask after they were no longer required at The U; I could but do not regret that now. I am getting used to being the only one in the room wearing a mask.

I learned not to correct comments other people made; because I did not go anywhere, this rarely mattered in person. I learned to click past such comments on social media and remind myself of the First Amendment. Because we usually are drawn to similar people, I really do not personally know any anti-vaxxers, people who deny the pandemic exists or existed at all, or pandemic conspiracy theorists. That I some years ago ended social media friendships with people who openly supported our EX-POTUS probably helped in that regard. 

I at one point mentioned that I would keep this blog going until I was fully vaccinated. That did not happen. I mentally had other breakpoints that passed. Now, as it becomes harder to find new news about SARS CoV-2 coupled with not knowing how long I will be as tired as I am now, it seems to be time. I won't stop reading what comes into my inbox or what notifications appear on my phone. If something I read intrigues me, I will take some notes and post something here. If I write about some other thing that interests me, I'll post that, too. In other words, The View from the Hermitage has not really changed; The Road goes ever on and on and may for some time. I just need to wander elsewhere. I have enjoyed reading your comments, really. When I learn whether what ails me might really be long COVID, I'll post something about that. I hope it isn't, but if it's not, then I hope it can be treated. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night ... for now.

The Road goes ever on and on ... Day 499 (999)

If there was new news out there concerning the pandemic in general or SARS-CoV-2 in particular, I did not find it. Nothing in new digest emails, no newspaper delivered, and no headlines on the news websites. I called that a reason to nap, which I did. People who know me well know that I don''t nap, can't nap even. The Professor has napping down to an art, but I don't. The only times I'm able to nap are when I'm sick, which I guess I could be. Tomorrow is the big millennium in days, not years.

The Road goes ever on and on ... Day 498 (998)

I just finished reading the transcript of an interview with Dr. Fauci as he prepares to retire from government service at the age (when he actually retires) of 82. It was quite interesting and worth reading. It would be nice to have a beer with him and talk more about getting the public to understand and appreciate science.

COVID vaccines and treatments will be going commercial eventually. Just as we now have to buy our own COVID tests, we'll be paying for the vaccines to get before those tests as well as the treatments to request after those tests come up positive. Pfizer and Moderna have said that their vaccines will likely be between $82.00 and $130.00 per dose. This may leave people with no health insurance high and dry when it comes to being vaccinated. 

The CDC released the results of their studies on the effectiveness of the bivalent boosters against infection. Compared to being unvaccinated, the bivalent booster was 42 percent effective against infection for people between the ages of 18 and 49, 28 percent effective for people between the ages of 50 and 64, and 22 percent effective for people over the age of 65. The more the time between the doses, the more protection offered. That's one reason they say to wait so many months between the last booster and the latest one. Data on the effectiveness of the bivalent booster against severe disease will be coming. 

The BQ.1 variants of Omicron now account for about 70 percent of the cases in the US. BQ.1.1 in particular accounts for 37 percent. The rise in hospital admissions is similar to what has been seen in France, who as before has been several weeks ahead of the US in COVID progression.

Not much new info in today's post; I pretty much did no news reading today. I've been concerned for some time about how much caffeine it's been taking me to get through a day and how tired I am even after a decent night's sleep (defined as not having to get up to use the bathroom). After a noteworthy episode of what might be called brain fog--forgetting I had turned on the water in the kitchen sink and not noticing until the hot water heater had been emptied--I finally admitted to myself that I might have a mild ( I hope) case of long COVID. I now have an appointment to see my doctor on the 20th. While I by no means have the severe symptoms a friend of mine has had, there is clearly something going on. If coming posts are not as long or detailed, it's probably because I'm taking care of other things such as me.

I will definitely have something to offer on Sunday, Day 1,000 though. I've been thinking a lot about that.

The Road goes ever on and on ... Day 497 (997)

Many things took longer than planned today, and dinner prep is calling now. I do have notes for today and just saw some more news worth including, but it will have to be tomorrow. Apologies!